A letter of Complaint
Just received this letter from my Liver - obviously a bit of suprise! It suggests I seek medical attention...so, over to you Doc.
Replies to This Topic
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Permalink Reply by Sir Niuhi-Nose TBE on -
Sounds like your Guts are Revolting!
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Permalink Reply by Doctor Tiki on -
Good heavens! Something must be done.
We need a second opinion here.
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Permalink Reply by Tikiman1705 on -
Perhaps a leave of absence would suffice.
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Permalink Reply by Offcamber on -
Niuhi-Nose said:Sounds like your Guts are Revolting!
"Damn right they stink on Ice!"
I would draft a formal letter of response,
Dear Liver,
In response to your recent letter I would like to call your attention to the contract you willfully signed at conception. Paragraph 3 subsection two of the Organ Code of Conduct and obligations(OCCO) clearly state that you cannot and will not be relieved of duty until utter failure or death.
These are difficult times and imbibing certain intoxicants is part of the overall stimulus package. I suggest you get on board with the rest of the team. Taste buds, stomach and kidneys have all pitched in to help for the greater good. Even the intestines and bowel have forgone any punitive action during these stressful times, and we know how irritable they can be.
We are not insensitive to your situation and as a compromise I and the stomach have agreed to drink to such access that he will have no choice but to expel the offending intoxicants so as to ease your burden. This will not happen every time but I vow to make it happen more often.
Thank you for your time and service.
Sincerely
The Host
Commander in Chief
P. S.
Any attempt at insurrection will result in the signing of an organ donor card, and switching to homemade moonshine as the drink of choice.
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Permalink Reply by Sir Niuhi-Nose TBE on
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Wow, Offcamber plays hard-ball with his Organs! Are you sure this won't cause an escalated succédez?
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Permalink Reply by Offcamber on
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I don't take any crap from my organs....especially my bowels! or winy livers. Always remember they can fail but they can't leave on their own. ( I guess that's kinda like the Hotel California ;) )
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Permalink Reply by Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' on -
guys.... thanks for all the help.... but remember these are my organs you're messing with... if they decide to go on strike or vacate my body then that's the end of me .... i kinda feel that your handling a sensitive hostage situation with a bulldozer - a kind of 'f**k you Mr Organ, it's our way or the highway' attitude. Wonderful as it is... I'm feeling a little vunerable!
Actually, bugger that, i'm off down the pub....ooops, I mean Tiki Bar.... i've decided i'm going to go out in a blaze of glory...
....does anyone have the receipe for a 'blaze of glory'?
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Permalink Reply by Offcamber on
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Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' said:guys.... thanks for all the help.... but remember these are my organs you're messing with... if they decide to go on strike or vacate my body then that's the end of me .... i kinda feel that your handling a sensitive hostage situation with a bulldozer - a kind of 'f**k you Mr Organ, it's our way or the highway' attitude. Wonderful as it is... I'm feeling a little vunerable! Actually, bugger that, i'm off down the pub....ooops, I mean Tiki Bar.... i've decided i'm going to go out in a blaze of glory...
Gotta show those organs whose boss...remember they can't live with out you either....
Blaze of Glory!? Good name for a drink! Can I steal that? I feel the creative juices flowing I may have to go into the lab/bar tonight and start mixing.....
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Permalink Reply by Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' on
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The blaze of glory would need to be the most powerful cocktail known to man....(And woman) - almost 'one for the end of the road'
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Permalink Reply by Offcamber on
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Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' said:The blaze of glory would need to be the most powerful cocktail known to man....(And woman) - almost 'one for the end of the road'
And it would require you to set it on fire.....for effect. How could you have a drink called a Blaze of Glory and not have it flaming....I don't mean that in the gay sense....not that there's anything wrong with it if I did.
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Permalink Reply by Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' on
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If it was flaming (but not in that way obviously) would you include an umbrella in the cocktail mug/glass?? - and the blaze of glory bit (apart from it's flatlining capabilities) would be to drink the cocktail before the umbrella catches fire.... If it catches fire whilst you drink it you'll be literally going down in a blaze of glory!
Now all we need is a recipe... Over to you Mr Creator!
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Permalink Reply by Offcamber on
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Charlie 'the London Fogcutter' said:If it was flaming (but not in that way obviously) would you include an umbrella in the cocktail mug/glass?? - and the blaze of glory bit (apart from it's flatlining capabilities) would be to drink the cocktail before the umbrella catches fire.... If it catches fire whilst you drink it you'll be literally going down in a blaze of glory!
Now all we need is a recipe... Over to you Mr Creator!
A tricky problem.....not sure I want to drink a drink that's on fire....my initial thought is to make it a shot rather than a cocktail.....however the flaming umbrella ( the on fire kind) does sound appealing. This will take some thought.
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